Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Part 28

A while back I was pleased to receive a message wherein I found a response to my previous installment. The writer shared with me the feelings that the piece invoked, and provided me with a short critique on these essays. The gist of which was, “I find them to be a mixture of whimsy, pathos, rage, love, ribald humour, irony, and your own personal lessons”. The writer also stated that they “winced a few times at the rawness with which I objectify sex”.Well, that was the best Christmas present I could have received. I know people read them, but getting positive feedback, Hell any feedback, makes it all worthwhile. I feel good because that description of the work is exactly what I shoot for every time I sit at the keyboard. I try to make you laugh, and if you’re given cause to cogitate so much the better. The rawness with which I objectify sex is hard work, thanks for the words. You know who you are. Now on to loftier matters.

During my reading and surfing I have seen Richard Dawkins address it, I have read the words of Christopher Hitchens on the matter, and now I’m starting to believe that there is a war being waged between the religious and the secular at this very moment.
Those who read these essays know that I tend to label myself as an atheist as opposed to agnostic because I don’t necessarily believe that a higher power must exist. As far as I know there isn’t a term for what I believe, which is no one knows, or has ever known, or will ever know the answer to the mystery until death. The astute reader will also have noticed that I have no love for organized religion, which is why the whole idea of a religious war unsettles me.
The American religious right, and to a smaller degree its Canadian counterpart are trying desperately to affect the way you live your life. If you are the kind of person who upholds that personal freedom and choice are paramount to a functioning society, you are the Godless enemy. In fact according to the most extreme fundamentalists God hates you. OBEY !!!

The other day when the tragic shootings took place in Arizona I followed a link on Twitter provided by Roger Ebert. I found myself able to view Sarah Palin’s Facebook page even though I don’t “like” her.  My personal opinion of Palin is that she is an ill informed redneck who channels her religious outlook into her political stance, which in my book is a grievous offense. Church and state must remain separate, though this explains her popularity in the ever increasing Bible Belt.  The remarks I found on her wall were filled with vitriolic rants by both the left and right, many I found to be astonishing and frightening. That people in the 21st century believe the things they believe leaves me at a loss for words. There were almost 5000 posts on her wall. Below are some samples that I copied and pasted word for word, spelling errors and puntuation intact:

-It's pretty easy to see who the satanic ones on here are by their comments. They are demonstrating that they may be as deranged as the gunman himself.

-please don't rope Satanists in with this lot of disgusting posts we've seen thus far on Sarah's page. I've known Satanists with much more compassion and respect than some of the liberals I've seen here. Lol. Not sure you'll find it funny or not, but it is true

-the pathetic parasites are on here again, the same people that are okay with MURDERING babies and the same people that love the terrorists and want to protect those murderous douche bags who not only kill one, two, six...they kill hundreds and thousands of innocent people but these lil pathetic liberals love the terrorist, they hate america and are on team terrorist... STOP getting your panties in a wad you lil miserable pathetic liberals... you pieces of shit are the reason this country is turning into this barbaric country, you pieces of shit are the cause for the breakdown in society, you all are perverting everything good about this country, trying to take GOD out of everyones lives, therefore creating these psychotic beings, who hate everything you are trying to do to this country to a point where they take the lives of others to try and find the sanity they once had!!!

-God bless you, Sarah...our prayers are with the people of AZ, but also with you and your family that God will place angels around each one of you and those you love so that no harm can come to you of any kind. May He hold you in the palm of His hand and keep you safe.
Please, be careful...we love and need you

-Sarah: maybe u should disable comments from your posts? These pointless attacks have to be hurtful to you and your family. I'm so sorry. ;-( It's really sad. But, the enemy will attack when we uplift and pray for others... So remember to take it (the negativity) as confirmation that you're doing exactly what our Lord has asked. Keep on pushing on, girl!

- Many of the inbred morons posting ignorance against Sarah aren't from America and most have communist links on their profiles. I hope CONGRESSWOMAN GIFFORDS recovers and my heart goes out to the injured and anyone who lost their life. Giffords was a Bluedog democrat and I wouldn't doubt the shooter being from the left, an illegal, a muslim or a support of those groups of America haters

-With the continued secularization of our culture more of this will happen. Without God, we will have complete anarchy soon. The results of "Darwiniazation" are showing.

-I fear our country's divide politically and decline morally is leading to a manifestation of evil in our midst.

- The body of Christ really need to be interceding for our nation, evil is everywhere...My prayers for this tragedy and everyone involved...

-Go Sarah ! Gifford deserved to die. She was a liberal, a jew, a health care reformer,  an enemy of the NRA, pro abortion, and pro gay. What happened to the map ? 1 down and 16 to go.

-Nice lynch mob you got there Antonio! Ain't no one scared of the likes of you. Since this year marks the 150th anniversary of the Civil War, let's pick sides and do it all over again!

Is it just me? This is not political rhetoric, it is religious. Are the two now really that intertwined in America?  It is simple to say that the Republicans being the conservative party would stick closer to traditional values, but that hasn’t always meant Christian values per se. The religious right are becoming powerful voices to the point where the simian George Bush pandered to them in his bid to keep his ass in office for a second term, and it worked. Before you start thinking that I’m a Democrat loving Canadian, let me assure you I am not. I couldn’t give a shit what happens in America except as it pertains to Canadian interests. In this regard I am like 99.9 percent of Americans who couldn't care less about Canada. The thing that terrifies me is that the Canadian religious right has been emboldened by the example of their U.S. counterparts.
Allow me also to state that I believe a person has a right to their beliefs. If you want to hosanna and tithe that is your decision, leave me out of it. But that’s the problem they don’t want to let us do that. If you are like me, a lover of personal liberty, a believer in science, a live and let live kind of person who doesn’t follow a particular faith they have a message for you:

An interesting link to a Christian fight song:

Or go to Twitter and check out the ravings of @DearShirley whose website is She is a member of that notorious Church that pickets funerals, the same Church that is going to picket at the funeral of the slain nine year old girl in Arizona. I am loath to even name them so as to give them further publicity.

Or check out which to me seems strange since Fox news and Glenn Beck have been so very industrious in promoting him.

Here's a video which finally solves the mystery of the dying birds, occam's razor need not apply.

And anyone who cares about our environment has to go here and have their thinking corrected:

For you see there apparently is an atheist agenda, there is Darwiniazation as our learned friend so thoughtfully pointed out, and an environmental agenda. Hell anything or anyone that opposes their beliefs is part of a secret agenda. If you are not doing God’s work, then whose work are you doing? That’s how you rally the troops – everyone is against you, fight back. Organized religions, particularly Christians revel in this kind of thinking, they always have. “No one expects The Spanish Inquisition”!!!

The sad part is that if you value your way of life the only option is to fight back, and I don’t mean that in a Palinesque way. When they try to take your freedoms through legislation, stand up and be a voice. Be a voice of reason and rationality among the noise. Do what you can to keep Church and State separate, be that voice of reason to your children, your associates, and to your politicians.

Whew, enough of that. This is supposed to be a somewhat humorous column not a manifesto.

Now we come to something that is very near and dear to my heart. Back in August of 1996 my long time friend and Irishman Mike Wilson introduced me to a little program that ran late on one of Vancouver’s television stations. He told me I had to see it, so we sat, watched, and laughed our asses off. That program was “Mystery Science Theater 3000” and I have been laughing ever since.

“Mystery Science Theater 3000” or “MST3K” or simply “MST” began in Minneapolis back in 1988, the brainchild of Joel Hodgson, who had a simple concept: A deranged scientist takes a disliking to Joel. He shoots him into space as part of a cruel experiment to see how many terrible movies a man can watch before he cracks. An inventive sort, Joel constructs four robots out of various ship parts to keep him company on the ship, named “The Satellite Of Love”. Two of these robots, Tom Servo and Crow T Robot join him as he watches the horrible films beamed to him by the mad Dr. Forrester. The only way they can cope is by making fun of these films while they watch.
From the simple premise sprouts some of the funniest moments ever I have ever had sitting in front of a television. Joel left the series during season five, and was replaced by Mike Nelson who was the show’s head writer, singer of the famous MST theme song, and actor during some of the show’s non movie segments. Debate rages among MSTies (fans) who was the better host, but it really doesn’t matter when either of the trios get down to riffing on whatever movie is presented to them.
The show ran for 10 seasons and produced 199 episodes before finally leaving the air in 1999. Since then it’s has spawned conventions, nineteen DVD sets, and has an ever growing fan base. Mike Nelson, Kevin Murphy (Servo), and Bill Corbett (Crow) have continued riffing on films, first in a DVD series entitled “The Film Crew”, and are now the men behind Rifftrax. Joel Hodgson and several of the folks behind MST do their own riffing under the “Cinematic Titanic” name.
Do yourself a favour and check them out. MST Box sets are readily available, Rifftrax are available for purchase or download at, and Cinematic Titanic DVDs can be purchased at

Sorry this one took so long, but the Christmas season, blah, blah. If there is a topic you’d like to see addressed drop me a line. There’s only two or three columns left until the big one about turning 50. Be good, and remember- be a voice.

-James Saito

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